The First Month of the Rest of My Life

So, today is exactly one month from my 25th birthday, the day I decided that things needed to change for me.

I was overweight, working an entry level job at a fast food restaurant, unsure about what to do with my recently earned Bachelor's degree, and with about 40K in student loan debt. And while 25 may not mean a whole lot from a practical standpoint, it seemed so daunting at the time -  halfway through my second decade on Earth, and what did I have to show for it? 

So I decided that, for my 25th year alive, I'd set 25 goals for myself. 25 goals seemed overwhelming, so I made sure that many of the goals were interconnected - more lifestyle changes than individual projects to tackle, really. And I split those goals into categories - 5 daily, 5 weekly, 5 monthly, 5 yearly, and 5 "bonus" goals, totaling 25 goals all together (I keep track of all of these goals in a 5 subject notebook - it sounds dorky, but it is pretty efficient). For example, one of my yearly goals is to pay down 15 - 25% of my student loan debt. To make this goal seem more attainable, I split it into the monthly, weekly, and daily savings that I would need to put aside in order to pay off the amount I'd like to. If I save 15-25 dollars per day, totaling 125 dollars a week, and 500 dollars a month, I'll have paid back about 20% of my overall loan balance by the end of the year. 

I took the same approach with my weight loss goals - daily goals focus on eating healthier and exercising daily, while weekly, monthly, and yearly goals focus on how much weight is lost overall. Related to these diet goals are a few bonus goals regarding drinking less pop and eating less red meat, small steps that I know will help with weight loss, but that I'm not willing to try to go cold turkey on. 

Most of my other goals are in some way related to staying mentally active while I'm not in school - reading, writing, trying new things, and working towards finding a better job. Starting this blog was actually a part of the overall effort as well - goal #4 is to write something substantial every day (I may not post new blogs daily, but I usually try to at least work on a draft of something every day). 

So, how am I doing so far?

I'd say pretty damn well. 

I started off at 253 lbs, the heaviest I've ever been. Now I am at 245, meaning I've lost about 8 lbs in the past month. I've reduced my pop drinking by a little bit, and have only eaten red meat on special occasions (my brother's graduation party cookout, for example). I've exercised almost every day for at least 30 minutes, and when I've missed a day I've always made up for it by exercising twice as long the next day. Matt and I walk between 1 and 3 miles every night now. I've been pretty consistent about tracking my calories and watching what I eat more closely - more fruits and veggies, less meat and processed foods. 

I've been writing almost every day, and am nearly finished with a short story now, the first one I've written in years now. I've been reading pretty constantly, as well. Since May 23rd I've read the following: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier (graphic novel), LOEG:Century 1910 (graphic novel), LOEG: Century 1969 (graphic novel), LOEG: Century 2009 (graphic novel), The Beach by Alex Garland (novel), Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk (novel), Food Politics by Marion Nestle (non-fiction), and No Logo by Naomi Klein (non-fiction). 

I've saved $186 towards student loans - only about half as much as I had hoped, but not bad considering how rough the job situation has been this past month. And now that I have a better paying full-time job, I have a plan in mind for how I can put aside even more money in the coming months. 

And not to skip over one of the best things that has happened to me in the last month - getting hired in at a new job. One of my year-long goals was to find a better job, and I am very proud of the fact that I have accomplished this goal in the first month. I am going to be working full-time at the Holiday Inn Livonia - a job with benefits, vacation time, a set schedule, and a wonderful group of co-workers. I plan on continuing to work at Jimmy John's three days a week (20 hours) until I can pay down a chunk of my student loan debt. This new-found job security has done a great deal for my self-confidence and happiness. I know that, with these two jobs, I'll be in a better position to pay down my loans and put some money aside into savings for emergencies.

This past month has been good to me, I think mainly because I am being good to myself. Expecting so much from myself doesn't wear me down, it builds me up. I have too much potential, and too many high hopes, to waste time feeling sorry for myself or treading water because I'm afraid of change. I'm making my life what I want it to be, day by day, week by week, month by month. And things are only going to get better. 

Food Politics - a mini review

Food Politics by Marion Nestle is a well-researched, expansive work of non-fiction that chronicles the interactions of Congress, federal regulatory agencies, lobbyists, marketers, and consumers in the last few decades, specifically regarding topics of food production, distribution, consumption, marketing, and regulations. The depth and breadth of the research is impressive, and as a nutritionist, educator, and former FDA adviser, Nestle is in a unique position to offer a critical view of food politics.
While the book is highly readable (you can tell Nestle's main work is in teaching) and interesting, I can't assume that anyone without a vested interest in the politics of food in the United States would bother to read it thoroughly and analyze it.

Growing food movements with various motivations and tactics should be proof enough that Americans ARE interested in what Nestle calls "voting with your fork", and I think this book is a good jumping on point for those who may be interested in the topic but aren't sure where to start. The vested interest in food politics requisite for enjoying a book like this is something I feel most, if not all, people should actively pursue. We should not be complacent about the current state of the food industry, in which consumers wield more power than they know - consumer demand and purchasing practices have more influence in this arena than government officials could ever hope to have. After all, many elected officials rely on campaign contributions from the agricultural/food industries, whereas the average citizen is beholden to no particular brand or type of food. Unfortunately, factors of education and wealth play a major part in how successfully any one person can avoid the nutritional quagmire that lurks in the aisle of every major grocery store, at most (if not all) restaurants, and in vending machines and convenience stores. The food "choices" we make are not made in a vacuum, and the era of "personal responsibility" rhetoric deliberately obscuring the legal and ethical irresponsibility of food producers needs to come to an end.

Nestle's book is split into five sections, each one dealing with a unique issue - all of which tie together, as they deal with what she calls an "eat more" environment that is promoted by the food industry to the detriment of our national health.

Part One deals with the undue influence food lobbies had over the creation of the Food Pyramid Guide.

Part Two deals with the ways in which the food industry gains such influence - lobbying, campaign contributions, co-opting doctors and other health professionals to endorse their message, utilizing the legal system to disarm and dissuade critics, and illegal tactics such as price fixing.

Part Three deals with the exploitation of children by food marketers, especially in regards to marketing efforts focused on grade schools, in which children are a captive, non-consenting audience.

Part Four deals with the deregulation of dietary supplements that was the result of a lengthy battle between supplement producers and the FDA, to the detriment of both public health (the ephedra scare is a good example of one consequence) and the regulatory ability of the FDA in regards to seemingly separate issues, such as allowing health claims on food items masquerading as dietary supplements.

Part Five deals with the invention, production, and distribution of "nutritionally enhanced" foods; specifically looked at is the development of products like Olestra, which are questionably described as "health" foods, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Nestle's conclusion offers possible solutions to some of the problems facing food producers, government officials, and consumers, and also gives some ethical dilemmas that could result from those solutions. I think she does an excellent job thoroughly exploring the pros and cons of some of the prescribed fixes for an obviously ailing system. While being far from a definitive cure-all, Nestle's proposals at the very least merit discussion, analysis, and further debate.

Overall, I'd say this is an excellent book. The most recently updated version was printed in 2007, meaning some of the information is dated. However, the basis of research and knowledge underlying the basic tenets of the book still hold true, a decade beyond its original publication. I'd highly recommend this book to anyone interested in learning more about the food system.

Gah.

So much annoying shit on the Internet today.
Trying to remain positive and upbeat seems easy until I get online.
A short list of things pissing me off today, in no particular order:

1) Gender pay gap deniers
2) conspiracy theorists
3) the Libertarian party co-opting Snowden as a representative of their values without his consent (I've already seen LP sponsored images floating around Facebook to this affect)
4) "There is no such thing as good foods and bad foods"
5) Chemtrails will kill us all (see: #2)
6) "One restaurant is selling one ridiculous menu item for a limited time? NO WONDER AMERICANS ARE SUCH FATASSES"
7) Pictures of college graduates with captions like "Congratulations of completing the easiest part of your life!" - apparently none of these assholes had to WORK through college and pay their own living expenses
8) Someone was caught scamming the disability benefits system? DEATH PENALTY
9) Some guy has 15 kids and doesn't pay child support on them? DEATH PENALTY
10) Some FB user had the audacity to make disparaging remarks about the military? DEATH PENALTY
11) Trayvon Martin was a THUG. And we all know that THUGS, even those who are only walking down the street minding their own business, deserve to be chased and shot by power-tripping fuckwits.
12) Let's all get on Facebook to complain about Facebook.

Good god damn I need a drink.

Source Code: Mini Review (Spoilers Ahead)

Source Code is the second Duncan Jones film I've seen, and I couldn't help but make comparisons to his directorial debut, Moon. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. Moon is in my top three favorite SF films of all time (a list rounded out by Blade Runner and Alien).
Source Code feels like Moon in some ways - both focus on a desperate, lost protagonist; both deal with questions of reality and unreality; both feature an unattainable(?) woman as the driving force motivating the male character; both have a character that first seems like an adversary but becomes an ally (GERTY and Goodwin); both extrapolate about the future ramifications of advancing technologies and the problematic nature of those who will OWN those technologies.
But the mood of these two films is very different. Source Code is like Moon sped up - bigger, louder, faster. Moon is quiet and laborious, slowly building tension through silence and desolation.
Source Code, right from the start, is jolting. As Colter Stevens first wakes up on the train - confused, alarmed, panicking - we are swept into his fear. Jake Gyllenhaal is excellent in this role - an emotionally and physically demanding one, no doubt. Every inch of his performance is real and tense and honest. I'd be hard-pressed to pick a favorite character portrayal between Sam Bell and Colter Stevens. Both are men haunted by their own deaths and by the possibility of re-birth - maybe it isn't death that Sam and Colter fear, but immortal life as yet another tool, used by governments or corporations and disposed of when necessary.
If Moon takes on crass corporatism, Source Code is a diatribe about the dangers of military leadership without ethics and oversight - a world in which the soldier, both alive and dead, is given no choice but to serve and no way out. I feel like, in some ways, this is referencing the glut of soldier and veteran suicides seen in recent years. At the very least, I feel like Source Code can be read as an indictment of those who treat both the mind and body of soldiers as tools and nothing more - Colter is plugged into a machine, suspended between life and death (against his will), and forced to experience the same hell over and over. This is called "duty" and "sacrifice" when it is truly torture. And while he succeeds in discovering the bomber's identity and providing the intel needed to stop a second attack, we must wonder, at what cost?

Options

So, the job search is going much better now. In terms of finding a second job, at least. I haven't received any offers for professional jobs that match my career goals yet - though that isn't entirely unexpected. I had an interview today with the GM of the Super 8 Lincoln Park, and I have an interview with the owner tomorrow. I also received an email from someone at the Quality Inn Livonia, and I plan on calling them tomorrow.
I think that the Super 8 is basically a done deal - as long as I don't monumentally screw up my interview with the owner tomorrow I'm fairly certain that they will offer me a full time night audit job.
But I haven't decided yet if I want to take it. So I'm going to write a pros and cons list to help me in the decision process.

Pros

It sounds like I'd be able to make my own schedule
I'd be allowed to get as much overtime as I want
I could probably negotiate at least 9/hour if not more
Minimal supervision

Cons

A (kinda) far drive
The hotel itself isn't great - really bad Tripadvisor reviews, right next to train tracks
It isn't located in a great neighborhood - crime would be a concern
It sounds like they have had issues retaining managers and hourly employees
It seems like they've had issues with employees missing shifts, so I could get stuck working very long shifts
It doesn't sound like they are willing to be very flexible with my JJ's schedule


Overall, I'm going into my interview tomorrow with caution. I am hoping this works out, but I'm also willing to walk away if I think it isn't going to work.

And it feels really good to have that option - the option of saying no and walking away. So I guess we will see.

Ode to Frustration (Looking for a Job)

I've never really been in a position where I needed to look for a "real" job before. I've always managed to easily come by employment, but never of the "career" variety. It is easy enough to find a job in retail, hotels, or food service for me - I have experience in all three. I could easily get a job for Holiday Inn (I've worked at two), a Bon-Ton store (I've worked at three), or a different Jimmy John's (I've worked at four of them, now). I have experience as a manager, night auditor, lab tech, tutor, delivery driver, retail clerk, merchandiser, and so on and so forth - but now I've reached the point where I don't feel like my ten years of  solid work history is enough. I'm applying for the sort of grown-up jobs that I should be working - the type that utilize the skills I've learned in the course of obtaining my Bachelor's degree, and on a related note, the type that pay enough so that I could afford to repay my student debt.
It is disheartening to sift through pages and pages of job ads and narrow it down to the few that I am actually qualified for -and even more disheartening when I think about how none of the jobs I'm applying for are actually what I want to do.
Which is part of my dilemma...I'm in the process of applying to grad school, but won't be attending until Fall 2014. I am waiting because it means I'll be eligible for more scholarships, grants, etc. and the only thing so far that has kept me from grad school is that the immense debt burden is something I'm unwilling to deal with. I have enough debt from my Bachelor's degree as it is. In the meantime, though (and the meantime is quite a while - it will be 15 months or so before I'm back in school) I need a job that pays well enough that I can afford both necessities and student loan payments. Though I'm not required to start repaying my loans until December, I'd rather start now - interest is accruing and the longer I wait, the more I owe.
But what I really want to do long term is teach college - a job I am absolutely not qualified for right now. I need a Master's degree; there is really no way around it. But I can't keep working for 6 bucks an hour plus tips while I'm waiting for next fall to roll around. I can't afford to bide my time. So the jobs I'm applying for now are ostensibly "better" than the one I'm currently working - clerical, data entry, administrative type jobs mainly. Something where I can sit in an air conditioned office, be treated like an adult, maybe even get benefits (!). I'm ready for better, and I feel like it is long overdue. But if I get something MUCH better, will I still feel motivated about pursuing graduate school? Will I have the TIME to? I worry about these things, even though I've yet to receive a job offer - or even an interview, honestly.
I'm a chronic worrier, I can't help it. A list of things weighing heavily on my mind right now:
1) That I won't be able to find a better job than the one I currently have, and I'll be forced to take a second job doing something equally low wage in order to make ends meet.
2) I won't be able to secure student aid for grad school and all this waiting will have been in vain.
3) I'll quit my job for something "better" to realize I hate it.
4) I'll quit my job for something "better" and realize I love it, thus draining my motivation to continue my education and pursue my long-term goals.

tldnr version: I am worried and stressed and need a better job.