I've never really been in a position where I needed to look for a "real" job before. I've always managed to easily come by employment, but never of the "career" variety. It is easy enough to find a job in retail, hotels, or food service for me - I have experience in all three. I could easily get a job for Holiday Inn (I've worked at two), a Bon-Ton store (I've worked at three), or a different Jimmy John's (I've worked at four of them, now). I have experience as a manager, night auditor, lab tech, tutor, delivery driver, retail clerk, merchandiser, and so on and so forth - but now I've reached the point where I don't feel like my ten years of solid work history is enough. I'm applying for the sort of grown-up jobs that I should be working - the type that utilize the skills I've learned in the course of obtaining my Bachelor's degree, and on a related note, the type that pay enough so that I could afford to repay my student debt.
It is disheartening to sift through pages and pages of job ads and narrow it down to the few that I am actually qualified for -and even more disheartening when I think about how none of the jobs I'm applying for are actually what I want to do.
Which is part of my dilemma...I'm in the process of applying to grad school, but won't be attending until Fall 2014. I am waiting because it means I'll be eligible for more scholarships, grants, etc. and the only thing so far that has kept me from grad school is that the immense debt burden is something I'm unwilling to deal with. I have enough debt from my Bachelor's degree as it is. In the meantime, though (and the meantime is quite a while - it will be 15 months or so before I'm back in school) I need a job that pays well enough that I can afford both necessities and student loan payments. Though I'm not required to start repaying my loans until December, I'd rather start now - interest is accruing and the longer I wait, the more I owe.
But what I really want to do long term is teach college - a job I am absolutely not qualified for right now. I need a Master's degree; there is really no way around it. But I can't keep working for 6 bucks an hour plus tips while I'm waiting for next fall to roll around. I can't afford to bide my time. So the jobs I'm applying for now are ostensibly "better" than the one I'm currently working - clerical, data entry, administrative type jobs mainly. Something where I can sit in an air conditioned office, be treated like an adult, maybe even get benefits (!). I'm ready for better, and I feel like it is long overdue. But if I get something MUCH better, will I still feel motivated about pursuing graduate school? Will I have the TIME to? I worry about these things, even though I've yet to receive a job offer - or even an interview, honestly.
I'm a chronic worrier, I can't help it. A list of things weighing heavily on my mind right now:
1) That I won't be able to find a better job than the one I currently have, and I'll be forced to take a second job doing something equally low wage in order to make ends meet.
2) I won't be able to secure student aid for grad school and all this waiting will have been in vain.
3) I'll quit my job for something "better" to realize I hate it.
4) I'll quit my job for something "better" and realize I love it, thus draining my motivation to continue my education and pursue my long-term goals.
tldnr version: I am worried and stressed and need a better job.
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