Well, I've failed pretty spectacularly at most of the goals I set for myself nearly 8 months ago on my 25th birthday. But this isn't going to be a post full of self-loathing. I'm not necessarily upset with myself that I haven't done the 25 things I've set out to do to their fullest extent. I knew when I set the goals that there was little to no possibility of me accomplishing the entire list...I purposely set the bar higher than my chubby ass is capable of jumping, because honestly, the exercise isn't going to kill me. I need to try harder, to care more, to value myself and my time, and to stop letting minor setbacks control my self-confidence.
I didn't do the 25 things I wanted to do. Some of them I started, then quit. Some of them never got off the ground in the first place. Some of them I've chipped away at slowly. This is just an update. No self-loathing here. Move along. But this is an update of how far I've gone so far...some progress is better than no progress, at least.
Goal 1) Pay down student loans.
Okay, this one has been basically impossible since I started my new job. I took a pay cut when I left JJ's to work at the hotel, needing a job with more stability, benefits, and that didn't require constant upkeep and repairs on my junker of a car. I have managed to pay off a total of $175 of what I owe since May...and I've had to defer loans through both providers due to economic hardship. Between the wage cut and my hours being consistently less than 40/week, there is no way I could have gotten anywhere near my goal of $125 per week. I am currently in the process of trying to find either a second job or a better job, hopefully by the end of January. At this point there is no way I'd be able to make up for lost time and afford basic living expenses as well (especially since my rent has gone up significantly), so this is one goal I'm going to need to write off for the time being. If I can manage to get $500 total paid off by the end of May, I'll be happy. Hooray for lowered standards!
Goal 2) Exercise 30 minutes per day
I was actually doing pretty well with this one until a month or so ago. June through October or so Matt and I were walking regularly, anywhere from 1 to 3 miles per night. Temperatures are below zero now, and there is so much snow and ice that roads are barely passable, so any outdoors exercise is a no-go for the time being. I keep trying to convince myself to use the gym at the apartment complex, but I know this is the time of year (shortly after New Years) when everyone starts to care about fitness again, so it will probably be occupied. Once the temperatures get back above freezing temps, I'm going to start making Matt walk with me again. And I need to find a good series of cardio videos on Youtube or somewhere...easy stuff that I can do in the apartment with minimal equipment. So, until it warms up my new goal is to find some good cardio videos and bookmark them by the end of the week.
Goal 3) Eat less than 2000 calories per day
I honestly haven't been keeping track of this much at all...the last time I was actively tracking my calorie intake in my journal was towards the end of September. During the holidays I know for sure I was going well over 2000/day. I stopped eating healthy at work, and starting eat fast food and convenience food again, especially McDonalds (since I've been broke lately). Just this past week at work I've started trying to eat healthy again - grilled chicken breast and vegetable medley instead of chicken strips or cheeseburgers and french fries. Since this isn't a difficult one to accomplish, I plan on starting again...if I don't stay under 2000, that is fine, but I need to be consistent about recording my calories. For now I plan on trying to stay under 2000, but my main focus will be on starting to keep track again...that way, I at least know when I'm going over and why. A week (or possibly two, depending on how well I do) from today I'll revisit my daily journal and see how I can improve my habits from there.
Goal 4) Write Something Substantial Daily
Well, since this blog hasn't been updated since early July, it is pretty obvious how well this goal has been going. I haven't written anything more lengthy than an e-mail or Facebook post for months now. I have been putting a significant amount of work into applying for jobs and tweaking my resume, though, if that counts for anything. But here I am, writing this long ass (not full of self-loathing, no sirree) blog about how I don't write shit anymore. New goal: write something every day, even if it is only a few sentences rather than a complete blog. FB statuses, emails, texts, message board posts, etc DO NOT COUNT. Even if it is two inane sentences griping about work, I need to actually put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, I guess) more than once every six months. What kind of shitty English major am I!?
Goal 5) Read Something Substantial Daily
I haven't been doing terribly with this one, honestly, though I haven't been keeping up with the benchmarks I set for myself in terms of total books read. I do usually read every day, though. Work has been slow enough that I've been working alone, which means time for personal reading. I did go to the library recently, for the first time in quite a while...I now have a list of which books on my reading list are available at the CPL, so that will make browsing quite a bit easier. The one thing I need to keep an eye on, especially now that I have Roku (meaning I have the capability of watching Netflix in bed now, productivity has all but ceased in the Shelby household), is to be sure that I read at least a bit before bed every night like I used to do, instead of just re-watching Futurama every night until my eyes bleed. Ten pages per night minimum seems reasonable, and it ensures that I won't just be reading at work.
Goal 6) $125+ per week on Student Loans, see Goal 1
Goal 7) Lost 1.5 - 2 lbs per week
This one WAS going pretty well for a while...I started at 253 lbs, and have been as low as 235 lbs, meaning that at a certain point I had lost 18 lbs. I am back up to 243 now, meaning I'm still at a net loss of 10 lbs. Not nearly as far along as I would be if I'd actually been consistently losing 2 lbs per week. Since this goal can change on a week by week basis, I have hope that I can start this again...of course, due to several months of backsliding I won't be able to reach my year goal without chopping off a limb, but some loss is better than none, and I'm proud that I've managed to keep off ten over the holiday season. Go me!
Goal 8) Watch Minimum of 1 New Film/Documentary Per Week
This one has been kinda hit or miss, depending on how busy I am in a given week. While it hasn't been precisely one film per week, I'd say I still have met my overall goal. It has been approximately 30 weeks since I began my goals list, and I've seen 28 films that I can remember, and I'm sure there are more I've seen that I cannot currently recall. I would be surprised if I haven't actually seen more than 30 new films since my birthday. I just need to be keeping better track of these things is the main issue. And it wouldn't hurt to start actually watching some of the documentaries that have been sitting in my Netflix queue for months now.
Goal 9) Read One TPB/Graphic Novel Per Week
This is really the only reading goal I've set for myself that I've managed to keep up with pretty well. At 30-ish weeks in, I've read 24 graphic novels and comic books, including the entire Scott Pilgrim series, the entire series of Bone, the rest of the Alan Moore Swamp Thing series, and all of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen series as well. At my current rate I should definitely be able to read a total of 52 by the end of May...I have 28 more books to read before I read that goal, and approximately 22 weeks in which to read them. As long as I don't have a week where I read nothing, I should be set to fulfill at least this goal.
Goal 10) Read One Fiction/Non-Fiction Book Per Week
This goal started with me deciding to alternate between reading fiction and non-fiction books, trying to read one book per week. I've realized that a more realistic goal would be to give myself one week for fiction and two weeks for non-fiction. Even engrossing non-fiction books tend to take me longer, as they are generally more dense and info-packed than novels. Since I started keeping track in late May I've read 9 novels and 4 non-fiction books (I'm in the middle of my 5th non-fic as I write this) - this puts me at about 34% of my goal for fiction and only 15% of my goal for non-fiction, when I should be much closer to 50-60% in order to assure that I meet my goal by May 23rd. If I do manage to read one book per week for the remaining 20 weeks I will have reached a total of 33 books read in the year, which is still pretty great. To be realistic, I'm resetting my goal to 30 books for the year, meaning I have approximately 19 weeks to read 17 books, which should be doable as long as I keep up with it.
Goal 11) Related to Student Loans, See Goal 1
Goal 12) Related to Weight Loss, See Goal 7
Goal 13) Go Somewhere/Do Something New At Least Once Per Month
This one has been pretty hit or miss as well, although it is a very broad sort of goal. This goal can mean anything from trying a new restaurant, to checking out a new theater or vacation spot or entertainment venue. While I wouldn't say I've hit the one per month goal with regularity, here is a list of new places/things I've tried since May: Went to the Belleville Strawberry Festival and rode my first Ferris Wheel; went to see Mazzy Star at the Majestic in Detroit (a band I've never seen at a venue I've never been to); visited Ryan at his place in Ohio for the first time; went to my first Comic Con panel (Mike Carey!); took my first trip to the Henry Ford IMAX to see Man of Steel; and I've tried a bunch of new restaurants - The Red Rooster, Dick's Last Resort, Potbelly's, The Bayou Grill. I need to keep up with this one...there are tons of good restaurants and theaters around here that I haven't tried out yet, the only issue is having enough extra money to do all that.
Goal 14) Write Minimum of 1 Story/Poem/Essay per Month
Okay, no excuses for this one. I seriously haven't gotten further than writing one half-finished draft since May. Maybe I should reset my goal to one story per year, since that is seeming like a more accurate and realistic goal. I think the best thing I can do is to give myself regular writing "assignments" with due dates...my goal for now is to come up with ten such assignments by the end of the week, and to start them next week.
Goal 15) Volunteer Minimum of 1 Time per Month
Again, no excuses. I haven't even attempted to actually do this one yet. To assuage my guilt, and also just to be nice, I've tried to do "good samaritan" type things more regularly, though that doesn't really excuse me ignoring this goal for as long as I have. New goal: by the end of the week, contact Ms.England and Ms.Williams and see if either one needs volunteers, try to schedule a regular weekly or bi-weekly or monthly time to help out.
Goal 16) Pay 15 - 25% of Student Loans Within The Year
I've already talked about this one a bit. There is no way, short of winning the lottery, that I'll be able to pay down even close to these numbers by May. I haven't even managed to pay 1% of my total debt in the last 6 months. Like I said before, if I can manage $500 by then, I'll be happy - possibly more/less depending on my tax return. Until then the name of the game is deferment.
Goal 17) Lose 70 - 80 lbs Within the Year
Well, since I've lost 10 lbs I'm about 15% of the way to my MINIMUM goal. As I said earlier, short of chopping off a limb I'm not going to reach my yearly weight goal. So it is time for a reset. If I manage to lose approximately 2 lbs per week before my deadline I will have lost a total of 45-50 lbs which would still be great, and it'd put me back at the weight I was when Matt and I met. I'd still have a bit to lose after that still, but it would at least put me back to a size where I feel comfortable, confident, and capable of physically doing the things I want to do. So that is my new goal. If I can get down below 200 before my birthday, I will feel very, very accomplished. And if not, I'll just keep fighting towards it. Nothing worth doing is easy and all that.
Goal 18) Watch 25 - 50% of Epic Movie List Within the Year
I have currently watched 38 out of 200 of the films on my Epic Movie List, for a total of 19% completion. In order to reach my minimum goal of 25% I need to watch 12 more films which is approximately one every week and a half (should be doable). To reach my maximum goal of 50%, I'd need to watch 62 films which would be about 3 per week. In all probability, I will end up watching somewhere between 25% and 30% of my films, and possibly more if Matt is okay with me watching some of the movies by myself...we have a hard time coordinating schedules so we have enough time to watch whole movies together. I'm usually up later than him, so I could easily watch movies after he falls asleep. I'll have to talk with him and see what his opinion is on this.
Goal 19) Find a Better Job Within the Year
Well, this goal I managed to accomplish very quickly. I was able to leave Jimmy John's for a full-time job within a month of my birthday. While the job is "better" in some senses, it still isn't what I'm looking for...it doesn't pay enough to keep me financially stable, and when we are slow (like the past month) my hours are cut and it makes a tight money situation even tighter. I have been applying for other jobs, and have even had a few interviews but nothing has panned out so far. While I do feel like I'm a step up now from where I was at JJ's, I need to take even more steps up before I'm financially stable. My current goal is to find a second or better job by the time the month is out, or at the very least to have some strong leads by then.
Goal 20) Secure Grad School Funding
Not going to lie, I haven't applied for a single loan or scholarship or anything. It isn't a big deal, because I originally planned on starting all of that stuff after the new year, so I'm pretty much on schedule. My goal for this week is to write a to-do list for my grad application, and give myself deadlines for each item.
Goal 21) Acquire a Bike - Ride Aforementioned Bike
This one has been a no-go. I did ride bikes while on vacation in October and it reminded me why I wanted a bike in the first place - it is one of the few forms of exercise that I genuinely enjoy. The ONLY thing I'm asking for my birthday this year is a bike...and if I don't get one by the end of May, I'll be purchasing one for myself from Amazon. Self-Ultimatum Activated.
Goal 22) Stop Drinking Pop
I've cut back a bit from what I was drinking before, but I haven't quit entirely. I'm going to try water with lemon and lime this week and see if it works as a substitute. I bought bottled water to take to work, as well as a few lemons and limes. I have stuff to make tea as well, so I can try that when I absolutely need caffeine. Quitting pop is going to be a process of weaning myself off the caffeine slowly and letting my body adjust. I expect it will take me at least a few months to fully commit to it, so hopefully by my birthday I'll be down to only drinking pop out at restaurants and none at home.
Goal 23) Stop Eating Red Meat
This goal I have done well with intermittently, but I'll admit I have a hard time consistently forgoing red meat. The first two or so months I did really well - I started eating only chicken at work, and not cooking any red meat at home. Those two things I'm generally good at maintaining except for special occasions...my biggest problem is avoiding red meat when I go out to eat. I don't like fast food chicken usually, so I end up eating burgers. Since I'm trying to cut calories and lose weight again, I should start avoiding fast food entirely again. At work I'm sticking with grilled chicken dishes (no more cheeseburgers or pizza at all), and at home I still don't cook any red meat - I'm trying to cook more with beans and rice and hope to eventually cut out all meat (except probably fish). As long as I can avoid fast food, this goal will not be too difficult to maintain.
Goal 24) Practice Guitar
I finally bought a guitar tuner a few months ago...and have yet to take it out of the box. So, my goal for this week is to get my guitar tuner working and TRY to tune my guitar. Hopefully I can get it tuned and start practicing before the month is out. New goal: be able to play a whole song by my birthday. Doesn't mean I have to play it well, just means I have to be able to play something recognizable, preferably without the tabs in front of me.
Goal 25) Limit Social Media Use
I'll admit that I've kinda sucked at this one. I haven't really used IMWAN much at all - a few times here and there, to post about Baltimore Comic Con and to tell everyone happy holidays. At this point I'm using it maybe once every month or two, but I've managed to supplant IMWAN with dicking around on Facebook, Buzzfeed, etc. I know from past experience that I won't be able to completely quit Facebook, considering it is one of the main ways I contact friends and family. The things I really need to watch out for are A) comments sections...on ANYTHING, B) random meme sites, and C) Buzzfeed. The point at which I am so bored I start reading articles on Buzzfeed I need to just step away from the computer. So, my new plan for working towards this admittedly vague goal is to avoid Buzzfeed, comments sections, and memes (including Reddit, Imgur, Memebase, etc).
TL;DNR version:
I need to stop wallowing in self-loathing and cookies and get off my ass if I want my 25th year to be anywhere near as productive as I originally planned. At least writing this has given me some perspective and helped me plan for the next few months.
